Le moi errant: Fear

We are a society of fear. I just realized it while traveling. It is nurtured and educated everywhere. Fear of everything. Conditions the subconscious. Molds the behavior. Decides for us and gives us the illusion that the choice is ours. A deep and nameless fear. We do not know what we are afraid of, we just are.

I'm no different. Fear was the most common thing so far. it started on the plane to Istanbul. When I heard we were arriving, I had a panic attack. One of those that makes you faint. All the fears came together at that time. Fear of committing to an error, of the unknown and of being alone. The fear of not being able to travel. And then came others. The fear of not be able to travel, not having a hotel or to catch a great time and have no one to share it with. Even the most ridiculous of all, the fear of what others will think of you, even when you have no “others” around you.

And when you get to this point, you realize how rooted they are in you. How your decisions should not be based on it but in other things. The trip is a conquest of fear. It starts at home when you decide to go for a trip around the world. But then, everything is very easy and romantic. Life is not (or, as I believe in it is not only). Here you are forced to face it. You have no escape, and you know that step you take ultimately will define you. You decided to embrace the unforeseen or choose security. Leading your way or follow others.

And you will gradually leave you fear behind. You have no reason to have it. You do not find exotic and incomprehensible places. You discover that your world is far greater than imagined. The trip is like knowledge. The only thing increased is ignorance. And on the trip, when you let go of the fear, you discover that the more you walk, more world you have to do so.