Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Le moi errant: A Lucky Bastard ... or after six months


It has been six months since I left Portugal and I don't know what to feel. I look back and see the common thread that led me to this moment. Inside I'm torn between how much I've changed, and how much is going to change.
The question mark and exclamation continue to guide my life. A child's amazement I insist not to leave. My emotional yo-yo is also continuing, and I don't run away of my sorrows. The void exists, but I understand that it gives us space to fill in something.
The way I feel the trip has changed. Today the world is also my world and it changes everything around me. I don't look for the exotic but for the beauty. Wherever it may be. I try to feel the emotions of where I am. Recognizing that it will be more mine than of the places.
I don't know if I'm more adult or childish. I would say both. I learned to live with this duality. Ever present in me. I am often something and its opposite. Gradually abandoning the prison of being and transform me into what I was.
The journey follows its path. Never know where to go. I depend on what my "inner self" tells me. I hear that voice more clearly, though sometimes still I don't follow at the first word.
And, despite the time travel, I feel that I have not seen, done or learned anything. There is so much around me. So many experiences that go beyond me and make me humble. Today I am more ignorant than before, even of myself. I found that I have a long unknown road ahead of me.
And this is what the trip gave me in these six months. But most of all, I met many fantastic people that luckly crossed my path and that I learned to call friends. Unique and special lives. So special that make me be sure that I am, and perhaps always will be, a Lucky Bastard!

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