Le Moi Errant: The beginning

I conclude my first month of travel with a new rubric. I would like to thank Suzzanne and Ana Salvador for guiding me to this title. This space will be the one where I try to describe the inner journey inside my adventure. Travelling is to look around as it is to wandering inside. I hope you enjoy this rubric.

The start couldn't be more intense. There were many emotions, episodes and moments. It is, above all, a time to accommodate feelings and to confront with a new reality. Irt is very different from what I expected. No matter what, we create expectations, idealize situations. The reality is always different. And I know that though I try to put into words what I live, this can only be felt when traveling. Perhaps it was my first surprise, the difference between the ideal and reality.

At first we tried to achieve what we dream. See what we wanted to see. But in my case, I had to abandon that feeling. The reality is what it is, and more than to accomplish what I dreamed, I want to live the present. It was difficult to exchange the eagerness to see with the calm of being. I know I'm losing a lot. That many sites I won't see. But I also know I have a lifetime to do so. More than a list of to-do's, I want to find my trip.

It's an uncomfortable feeling that you have with a such desirable world close to you and you choose not to go everywhere. But travel is also going in search of discomfort. Perhaps this is what forces a traveler to change inside. Fight against his natural instinct of protection. And when we are in a comfortable place, we're going into the unknown once again. But this change, this discomfort compels your spirit to be totally open. You look more carefully at where you are. Inside, you feel an insecurity that you end up controlling. Where you go is more important than feelings.

I know that one month is not enough to say that I changed, but the reality is what happened. Looking at myself leaving for this trip is something already far away.. The change is diffuse and sublime. Something that I cannot grasp yet, but a change nonetheless...